Wecome to Silent Writer's Porch

Hey,
How are you ?
Welcome to my Blog.
I am not an active blogger.
Before this, I have had some posts on but, I decided to take it all out and star up FRESH again...I felt that my posts were just too boring.
Even I hated it...
Of course most of the time it is of personal opinion basis but, there was no spice... nothing that would trigger the interest...
So, thank you for stopping by.
Please do leave a comment....
( 2nd June 2012)

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About Me

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Malaysia
Complicated soul on the journey to self discovery...

Tuesday 25 June 2013

Jennet - A dramatic poem -


There is a woman,
Her name is Jennet.
They call her,
Jennet the tramp.

Jennet the tramp?
Why call her a tramp?
She looks nice and,
She seems sophisticated.
Why call Jennet a tramp?
She has standards.
Why call her a tramp?
She seems like a good gal.

No! Look at her.
Those blood red lips,
Those painted red fingernails and
That tight short red dress.
Don't you see young sir?
Only a whore dresses the way she does.
Don't you see young sir?
She's a woman with no self - respect!

No sir, I don't.
She is beautiful.
Only an angel can be,
As beautiful as she looks.

Angel, you say?
Sir, you are mad!
She's no angel,
She's the devil in disguise!

Devil, you say?
You sir, must be blind.
I see no devil in that woman,
She's just human.

Don't be fooled sir,
Look at her carefully.
The way she walks in that red high heel,
Listen to what she says when she speaks.
Jennet, has not shame!
She's a tramp!
She respects no boundaries!
She is nothing but a trashy tramp!

Sir, please do watch your words!
All I see is a beautiful, independent and,
courageous woman!
Jennet is nothing like a tramp,
She is an evolution!
An evolution of women's innocence.

Oh, foolish sir;
The devil has blinded you!
All she is, she is a tramp!

Let it be that I am foolish but, 
Jennet is no tramp.
Jennet is a beautiful, normal and
Proud woman!
She is independent,
She needs no man's approval to
live her life the way she wants it. 
That is all I see.
I see only Jennet and
not a sinner.
No, she's not a tramp.
No, she's not a devil.
Jennet is a woman,
She is brave and proud.
Any man would be fortunate
To have her in his life.

Oh, foolish sir!
She is sinful!
Many of man would've already
tasted her sweet nectar!
She probably sold it for a nickel!
She's a tramp and always will be!

Oh, wise sir,
If you'll allow me;
If Jennet was your daughter,
Would you call her a tramp?
Why judge Jennet so cruelly?
Does a woman have no right to be
Brave, independent and proud
To live the life she chooses to lead?

Rights?
For women?
Are you out of your mind?
Women need no rights!
They are where they should be!

So, tell me wise sir,
Where are they?
Where do they stand in this ideal society?
What are their purpose?

Well, now...
Young sir, you are asking the right questions!
Women are simply meant to serve men.
Women, 
They belong in the kitchen.
Their purpose are to cook, clean, bear children
And, please their husbands!
Their purpose is to make men feel superior!
Now, that is where they stand.
That is all the rights they need and have;
They need no more,
They are where they belong.

Dear wise sir, 
You forget.
If there was no woman,
You wouldn't be here.
For all that a woman had done for you,
You respect them too little!
Have you wondered,
If your mother had dreams?
Have you wondered,
If your mother hoped for a change of fate?
Would you have known love,
If it was not for your wife?
Would you have known life,
If it was not for your daughter?
What if you die tomorrow?
What are you leaving for your daughter?
Wouldn't you want a life of freedom and happiness
For your daughter?
Do you prefer her to be slaved?
Does she have no dreams?
Won't you want to make her dreams come true?

Oh, young sir;
I am speechless.
I apologize for my ruthlessness.
It never crossed my mind.
Yes! There should be change!
Maybe,
My daughter could one day be a doctor!
Maybe,
My daughter could one day be a judge!
Maybe,
My daughter could one day be an engineer!
Maybe, 
My daughter could one day rule the nation!
Yes! 
She could be anything she want to be!
She would inspire!
She would not be afraid of the world,
For she will have her rights!
 





Why am I here?

Here I sit
At the balcony 
Of the highest building
Surrounded by nothing but
Haze and silence.

I ask myself,
Why am I here?
But, I find no perfect reason.
Why am I here?

I could suffocate,
I am harming myself.
Why am I here?
From where I sit,
I see nothing but,
Clouded view.

Why am I here?
Do I have a purpose?
My stomach grumbles,
Signing that I am hungry but, 
I don't wish to move.

I ask myself again;
Why am I here?
What am I looking for?
Is it peace?
Is it solidarity?

Why am I here?
Why do I feel lost?
Why can't I find a place for myself?
Why is there no place for me?
Why do I constantly feel left out?

Why am I here?
Do I wish to end my life?
No, that's not it!
Why would I attempt that?
It's not necessary.

Isn't life more painful than death?
Why must I die a painful death?
Wait; I finally know!
I am looking for peace!
Yes, that must be it!


Thursday 20 June 2013

The Plague of My Birth Name

Many people have told me that I should be proud of my name. It's a beautiful name. Why should I have to be ashamed of it?Well, those people are not me. So, why is it okay for them to judge me for how I feel about my name?

My name is AISHWARYA.
No! There is no 'Rai' at the back of my name. My family name is NOT 'Rai'.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I am human. I am a person. I am a normal girl. I am as weird as I can be at times. I am not slim and slender. I am chubby. I am full of me.

Do you know what kind of first impression people have of me when they hear my name is 'Aishwarya'?
They imagine me to be a girl who's pretty (as they think I should be). They imagine me to be slim and slender with perfect skin. They imagine me to be a girl who can fit in any dress and look gorgeous. How am I suppose to live up to this ridiculous expectation? I can't be who I really am. I can't be who people expect me to be. Worst of all, I struggle to live up to my name every day of my freaking life!

I tried to experiment the curse of my own name. I got a guy's number from a friend (a guy that I liked). I messaged him. Told him my name. He started guessing how I look. The description he gave me are; fair, tall, slim. The first two guesses - fair and tall - were right but, when it came to slim, I just knew that I might just lose him if he saw me in person. Which I actually did. I met up with him one day hoping that he might give in to getting to know the real me. We met in a library for less than 2minutes and never saw him ever again. I decided to never ever want to try dating at all and forever possibly.

Some jerks that I have come across in my life, use my own name to mock me. They tell me that my name doesn't fit me (the way I look). Well, those assholes are strangers and so, most of the time I just let it slide. However, it fucking hurts when there are people close to me telling me to change the way I look (physically) just so that I could fit their imaginative picture of a perfect girl.

Being rejected is normal. It happens but, when you are being rejected for not looking the way that you should for your own name, sucks! Most of the time, I avoid telling people my full name. I never do. I always tell people to call me 'Aish'. That is it. When people call me by my full name, I feel embarrassed and I avoid all eyes contact with everyone. Sometimes, I just look to the ground and pretend that I don't hear my name being called out. The hardest times were when I was in school, tuition classes and when I had to meet new people. Some people warm up to me when they get to know me for me and when they don't try to change me. Some, will just keep judging. Well... in simple terms; 'Jerks will be Jerks'.

There is no perfect explanation as to why I have written this article. In fact, I have no obligations to explain myself to anyone who doesn't understand the message of this article. Those who judge will keep judging but, I have a life to live so, peace out!

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Complicated soul on the journey to self discovery...

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Tuesday 25 June 2013

Jennet - A dramatic poem -


There is a woman,
Her name is Jennet.
They call her,
Jennet the tramp.

Jennet the tramp?
Why call her a tramp?
She looks nice and,
She seems sophisticated.
Why call Jennet a tramp?
She has standards.
Why call her a tramp?
She seems like a good gal.

No! Look at her.
Those blood red lips,
Those painted red fingernails and
That tight short red dress.
Don't you see young sir?
Only a whore dresses the way she does.
Don't you see young sir?
She's a woman with no self - respect!

No sir, I don't.
She is beautiful.
Only an angel can be,
As beautiful as she looks.

Angel, you say?
Sir, you are mad!
She's no angel,
She's the devil in disguise!

Devil, you say?
You sir, must be blind.
I see no devil in that woman,
She's just human.

Don't be fooled sir,
Look at her carefully.
The way she walks in that red high heel,
Listen to what she says when she speaks.
Jennet, has not shame!
She's a tramp!
She respects no boundaries!
She is nothing but a trashy tramp!

Sir, please do watch your words!
All I see is a beautiful, independent and,
courageous woman!
Jennet is nothing like a tramp,
She is an evolution!
An evolution of women's innocence.

Oh, foolish sir;
The devil has blinded you!
All she is, she is a tramp!

Let it be that I am foolish but, 
Jennet is no tramp.
Jennet is a beautiful, normal and
Proud woman!
She is independent,
She needs no man's approval to
live her life the way she wants it. 
That is all I see.
I see only Jennet and
not a sinner.
No, she's not a tramp.
No, she's not a devil.
Jennet is a woman,
She is brave and proud.
Any man would be fortunate
To have her in his life.

Oh, foolish sir!
She is sinful!
Many of man would've already
tasted her sweet nectar!
She probably sold it for a nickel!
She's a tramp and always will be!

Oh, wise sir,
If you'll allow me;
If Jennet was your daughter,
Would you call her a tramp?
Why judge Jennet so cruelly?
Does a woman have no right to be
Brave, independent and proud
To live the life she chooses to lead?

Rights?
For women?
Are you out of your mind?
Women need no rights!
They are where they should be!

So, tell me wise sir,
Where are they?
Where do they stand in this ideal society?
What are their purpose?

Well, now...
Young sir, you are asking the right questions!
Women are simply meant to serve men.
Women, 
They belong in the kitchen.
Their purpose are to cook, clean, bear children
And, please their husbands!
Their purpose is to make men feel superior!
Now, that is where they stand.
That is all the rights they need and have;
They need no more,
They are where they belong.

Dear wise sir, 
You forget.
If there was no woman,
You wouldn't be here.
For all that a woman had done for you,
You respect them too little!
Have you wondered,
If your mother had dreams?
Have you wondered,
If your mother hoped for a change of fate?
Would you have known love,
If it was not for your wife?
Would you have known life,
If it was not for your daughter?
What if you die tomorrow?
What are you leaving for your daughter?
Wouldn't you want a life of freedom and happiness
For your daughter?
Do you prefer her to be slaved?
Does she have no dreams?
Won't you want to make her dreams come true?

Oh, young sir;
I am speechless.
I apologize for my ruthlessness.
It never crossed my mind.
Yes! There should be change!
Maybe,
My daughter could one day be a doctor!
Maybe,
My daughter could one day be a judge!
Maybe,
My daughter could one day be an engineer!
Maybe, 
My daughter could one day rule the nation!
Yes! 
She could be anything she want to be!
She would inspire!
She would not be afraid of the world,
For she will have her rights!
 





Why am I here?

Here I sit
At the balcony 
Of the highest building
Surrounded by nothing but
Haze and silence.

I ask myself,
Why am I here?
But, I find no perfect reason.
Why am I here?

I could suffocate,
I am harming myself.
Why am I here?
From where I sit,
I see nothing but,
Clouded view.

Why am I here?
Do I have a purpose?
My stomach grumbles,
Signing that I am hungry but, 
I don't wish to move.

I ask myself again;
Why am I here?
What am I looking for?
Is it peace?
Is it solidarity?

Why am I here?
Why do I feel lost?
Why can't I find a place for myself?
Why is there no place for me?
Why do I constantly feel left out?

Why am I here?
Do I wish to end my life?
No, that's not it!
Why would I attempt that?
It's not necessary.

Isn't life more painful than death?
Why must I die a painful death?
Wait; I finally know!
I am looking for peace!
Yes, that must be it!


Thursday 20 June 2013

The Plague of My Birth Name

Many people have told me that I should be proud of my name. It's a beautiful name. Why should I have to be ashamed of it?Well, those people are not me. So, why is it okay for them to judge me for how I feel about my name?

My name is AISHWARYA.
No! There is no 'Rai' at the back of my name. My family name is NOT 'Rai'.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I am human. I am a person. I am a normal girl. I am as weird as I can be at times. I am not slim and slender. I am chubby. I am full of me.

Do you know what kind of first impression people have of me when they hear my name is 'Aishwarya'?
They imagine me to be a girl who's pretty (as they think I should be). They imagine me to be slim and slender with perfect skin. They imagine me to be a girl who can fit in any dress and look gorgeous. How am I suppose to live up to this ridiculous expectation? I can't be who I really am. I can't be who people expect me to be. Worst of all, I struggle to live up to my name every day of my freaking life!

I tried to experiment the curse of my own name. I got a guy's number from a friend (a guy that I liked). I messaged him. Told him my name. He started guessing how I look. The description he gave me are; fair, tall, slim. The first two guesses - fair and tall - were right but, when it came to slim, I just knew that I might just lose him if he saw me in person. Which I actually did. I met up with him one day hoping that he might give in to getting to know the real me. We met in a library for less than 2minutes and never saw him ever again. I decided to never ever want to try dating at all and forever possibly.

Some jerks that I have come across in my life, use my own name to mock me. They tell me that my name doesn't fit me (the way I look). Well, those assholes are strangers and so, most of the time I just let it slide. However, it fucking hurts when there are people close to me telling me to change the way I look (physically) just so that I could fit their imaginative picture of a perfect girl.

Being rejected is normal. It happens but, when you are being rejected for not looking the way that you should for your own name, sucks! Most of the time, I avoid telling people my full name. I never do. I always tell people to call me 'Aish'. That is it. When people call me by my full name, I feel embarrassed and I avoid all eyes contact with everyone. Sometimes, I just look to the ground and pretend that I don't hear my name being called out. The hardest times were when I was in school, tuition classes and when I had to meet new people. Some people warm up to me when they get to know me for me and when they don't try to change me. Some, will just keep judging. Well... in simple terms; 'Jerks will be Jerks'.

There is no perfect explanation as to why I have written this article. In fact, I have no obligations to explain myself to anyone who doesn't understand the message of this article. Those who judge will keep judging but, I have a life to live so, peace out!