Jennet - A dramatic poem -

There is a woman,

Her name is Jennet.

They call her,

Jennet the tramp.

Jennet the tramp?

Why call her a tramp?

She looks nice and,

She seems sophisticated.

Why call Jennet a tramp?

She has standards.

Why call her a tramp?

She seems like a good gal.

No! Look at her.

Those blood red lips,

Those painted red fingernails and

That tight short red dress.

Don't you see young sir?

Only a whore dresses the way she does.

Don't you see young sir?

She's a woman with no self - respect!

No sir, I don't.

She is beautiful.

Only an angel can be,

As beautiful as she looks.

Angel, you say?

Sir, you are mad!

She's no angel,

She's the devil in disguise!

Devil, you say?

You sir, must be blind.

I see no devil in that woman,

She's just human.

Don't be fooled sir,

Look at her carefully.

The way she walks in that red high heel,

Listen to what she says when she speaks.

Jennet, has not shame!

She's a tramp!

She respects no boundaries!

She is nothing but a trashy tramp!

Sir, please do watch your words!

All I see is a beautiful, independent and,

courageous woman!

Jennet is nothing like a tramp,

She is an evolution!

An evolution of women's innocence.

Oh, foolish sir;

The devil has blinded you!

All she is, she is a tramp!

Let it be that I am foolish but, 

Jennet is no tramp.

Jennet is a beautiful, normal and

Proud woman!

She is independent,

She needs no man's approval to

live her life the way she wants it. 

That is all I see.

I see only Jennet and

not a sinner.

No, she's not a tramp.

No, she's not a devil.

Jennet is a woman,

She is brave and proud.

Any man would be fortunate

To have her in his life.

Oh, foolish sir!

She is sinful!

Many of man would've already

tasted her sweet nectar!

She probably sold it for a nickel!

She's a tramp and always will be!

Oh, wise sir,

If you'll allow me;

If Jennet was your daughter,

Would you call her a tramp?

Why judge Jennet so cruelly?

Does a woman have no right to be

Brave, independent and proud

To live the life she chooses to lead?

Rights?

For women?

Are you out of your mind?

Women need no rights!

They are where they should be!

So, tell me wise sir,

Where are they?

Where do they stand in this ideal society?

What are their purpose?

Well, now...

Young sir, you are asking the right questions!

Women are simply meant to serve men.

Women, 

They belong in the kitchen.

Their purpose are to cook, clean, bear children

And, please their husbands!

Their purpose is to make men feel superior!

Now, that is where they stand.

That is all the rights they need and have;

They need no more,

They are where they belong.

Dear wise sir, 

You forget.

If there was no woman,

You wouldn't be here.

For all that a woman had done for you,

You respect them too little!

Have you wondered,

If your mother had dreams?

Have you wondered,

If your mother hoped for a change of fate?

Would you have known love,

If it was not for your wife?

Would you have known life,

If it was not for your daughter?

What if you die tomorrow?

What are you leaving for your daughter?

Wouldn't you want a life of freedom and happiness

For your daughter?

Do you prefer her to be slaved?

Does she have no dreams?

Won't you want to make her dreams come true?

Oh, young sir;

I am speechless.

I apologize for my ruthlessness.

It never crossed my mind.

Yes! There should be change!

Maybe,

My daughter could one day be a doctor!

Maybe,

My daughter could one day be a judge!

Maybe,

My daughter could one day be an engineer!

Maybe, 

My daughter could one day rule the nation!

Yes! 

She could be anything she want to be!

She would inspire!

She would not be afraid of the world,

For she will have her rights!

 

Why am I here?

Here I sit

At the balcony 

Of the highest building

Surrounded by nothing but

Haze and silence.

I ask myself,

Why am I here?

But, I find no perfect reason.

Why am I here?

I could suffocate,

I am harming myself.

Why am I here?

From where I sit,

I see nothing but,

Clouded view.

Why am I here?

Do I have a purpose?

My stomach grumbles,

Signing that I am hungry but, 

I don't wish to move.

I ask myself again;

Why am I here?

What am I looking for?

Is it peace?

Is it solidarity?

Why am I here?

Why do I feel lost?

Why can't I find a place for myself?

Why is there no place for me?

Why do I constantly feel left out?

Why am I here?

Do I wish to end my life?

No, that's not it!

Why would I attempt that?

It's not necessary.

Isn't life more painful than death?

Why must I die a painful death?

Wait; I finally know!

I am looking for peace!

Yes, that must be it!

The Plague of My Birth Name

Many people have told me that I should be proud of my name. It's a beautiful name. Why should I have to be ashamed of it?Well, those people are not me. So, why is it okay for them to judge me for how I feel about my name?

My name is AISHWARYA.
No! There is no 'Rai' at the back of my name. My family name is NOT 'Rai'.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I am human. I am a person. I am a normal girl. I am as weird as I can be at times. I am not slim and slender. I am chubby. I am full of me.

Do you know what kind of first impression people have of me when they hear my name is 'Aishwarya'?
They imagine me to be a girl who's pretty (as they think I should be). They imagine me to be slim and slender with perfect skin. They imagine me to be a girl who can fit in any dress and look gorgeous. How am I suppose to live up to this ridiculous expectation? I can't be who I really am. I can't be who people expect me to be. Worst of all, I struggle to live up to my name every day of my freaking life!

I tried to experiment the curse of my own name. I got a guy's number from a friend (a guy that I liked). I messaged him. Told him my name. He started guessing how I look. The description he gave me are; fair, tall, slim. The first two guesses - fair and tall - were right but, when it came to slim, I just knew that I might just lose him if he saw me in person. Which I actually did. I met up with him one day hoping that he might give in to getting to know the real me. We met in a library for less than 2minutes and never saw him ever again. I decided to never ever want to try dating at all and forever possibly.

Some jerks that I have come across in my life, use my own name to mock me. They tell me that my name doesn't fit me (the way I look). Well, those assholes are strangers and so, most of the time I just let it slide. However, it fucking hurts when there are people close to me telling me to change the way I look (physically) just so that I could fit their imaginative picture of a perfect girl.

Being rejected is normal. It happens but, when you are being rejected for not looking the way that you should for your own name, sucks! Most of the time, I avoid telling people my full name. I never do. I always tell people to call me 'Aish'. That is it. When people call me by my full name, I feel embarrassed and I avoid all eyes contact with everyone. Sometimes, I just look to the ground and pretend that I don't hear my name being called out. The hardest times were when I was in school, tuition classes and when I had to meet new people. Some people warm up to me when they get to know me for me and when they don't try to change me. Some, will just keep judging. Well... in simple terms; 'Jerks will be Jerks'.

There is no perfect explanation as to why I have written this article. In fact, I have no obligations to explain myself to anyone who doesn't understand the message of this article. Those who judge will keep judging but, I have a life to live so, peace out!

Why I have a Blogger account?

Why in the world did I sign up for a blogger account?

This question has always disturbed me.

Well, at first I registered because I wanted to improve my writing skills and find out how many people in the whole wide world would actually read my - well what ever it is that I have here.

Also, I registered because I am always emotionally troubled and I find that writing is the only way that I can express my emotion openly. I don't really expect any response, I just want to get the bloody feelings out. It sucks I tell you.

Then, I find that I write my best when I am emotionally disturbed. I wonder why? I wish I can change this behavior.

Anyways, it really sucks. I find that my mind is twisted in some way. I find my life only of purpose when I go through emotional despair. I think I should see a shrink but, over here, it is not an advisable idea.

Maybe, I would engage myself to see one when I am finally standing on my own feet and free from parental grasps... right now... I am just... I guess... I am just lost...

Thus, I just keep praying for my piece of mind, heart and soul.

Oh My Friend

Oh my friend,

What have I 

To tell you about me

You know better
don't you?

Where have you been?

I've missed you.

Many stories do I have
to tell you.

My friend,

You taught me to trust

You taught me to love 

You taught me to respect;

I'm blessed...

My friend,

Where have you been?

I wished you to be around

when I was telling stories to my children;
what beautiful days those were...

Did you ever think of me?

Have you ever thought of calling?

I wished that you did...
I wished that I did too...

Did you know,
sometimes I feel lost?
Like I was incomplete.
My friend,

At times,
 I lose hope!
At times,
it is impossible
to trust!

At times,
to disappear
is what I desire!

Do you know,

sometimes

I fear for my children?

I fear
they wouldn't know friendship.

I wished,

they'd learn from us.

My friend,

I want to thank you

For accepting me
as a friend;
and

For accepting me
as I am.

You're a humble soul,

You made me believe,
in myself.

You made me,
a better person.

My friend,

I thank you,

For your care,

For your love
and

For your faith
in me.

My friend,

I'd had a wonderful journey

I can't wait
To tell you all about it;
there's pain, love, bitterness and sweets.
It was flavorful.

I thank you,
for everything!

and,

I can't thank you enough.
You made the world better
for me.

The Valentine's Day Dilemma

Happy Valentine's day everybody!
I know that the title sounds a little pathetic but, I hope that you guys won't think that way
after reading this.

The thing is, I just want to share something and to be frank, you would probably
assume that it's going to be about feelings. So, if you did... you're right. I am going to
share a little something about feelings.

I reminisced the time when I was in my teen years which ended just two years ago. =P
(God Bless my Teen Years)

Anyways, during that hormonal period of my life as a teenager I'd always dreamt of having the most
amazing and most romantic Valentine's Day with the guy of my dreams (which I never ever met
EVER! Even if I did, I had no chance... Not even today...).

Also, as much as I say I don't care about Valentine's Day but, deep down in my twisted teenage mind
and hormone I was deadly pathetic and sad! I hated Valentine's day because I always felt left out on the whole experience of expressing love to someone that would make a difference in me and my life. To be honest, I still do have the feeling. However, I don't hate Valentine's day as much as I did before. The reason to this might sound pathetic to those whom are in a relationship but, for the singles out there; SINGLES ROCK!

Sorry couples... I am happy for you guys too. The thing is, for us, 'Single People' I think it is most important to love yourself for who you are first, before you want someone to love you for who you are. For all girls, even the toughest ones out there, you have got to admit that at some point in your childhood or teen years, you have had dreams of meeting the right person (prince charming) and plan out your whole romantic story. Well if you don't want to admit it, it's okay because, I want to admit that. (Yes, this is an embarrassing confession...) Somehow, even if things don't work out as we plan it to, we still are chasing for it because all of it brings us back to one most addictive potion. The Potion of HOPE... We have always hoped and never stopped. That's what keeps the magic alive. The hope for finding Love someday.
It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow.
It might not be this week, it might not be next week.
It might not be this month, it might not be next month.
It might not be this year, it might not be next year too.
But, no matter what, we have never stopped hoping to find for Love. I am not sure if this quote is correct but, I'll give it a go okay... "Love is the food for souls."
(In case this quote had not been quoted before, I just want to say; Copyright by Me!) (LOL)

Anyways, back to my story.
Well, I'd just recently turned 21years old. At this point in my life, I do not have any intentions of being in any kind of relationship at all. In fact, I don't even want to ever get married. So, yeah... I have grown used to being single and I have learned to love myself, my space and my loneliness too much that I am actually comfortable with what I have. I do have regrets but, those regrets don't seem too important anymore. Once in awhile, there are times that I would love to find a shoulder to cry on. That's why we have friends and family for. They are always there to lend me a shoulder. So, when we keep finding for Love so far away, sometimes, we miss out on the Love nearby. So, This Valentine's day, I am thankful for what I have with me.
So yeah... I hope that, you guys don't leave out on those whom have always been there for you.